Monday, January 18, 2010
Fully Equipped Barbie: Date #1: Mr. Barbie's Dream Car
I stepped way outside my comfort zone on this one. The girls and I ventured out on a rainy afternoon to a sports bar. We figured it would be a great way to start cultivating our leads. The sports bar turns out to be a perfect place to meet men. For many reasons, the male to female ratio is about 5:1, another plus is actually knowing something about sports. I was cheering when a false start was called on the opposing team and when the team was first and ten,... from me cheering I noticed more guys noticing me. (Some were shocked I was cheering against their team..*side note my team won!) I believe knowing about the game set us apart from the other women who were just walking around to get noticed.
I saw a guy sitting at the bar and I asked the waitress for a piece of paper and a pen. So I wrote my name and number on the paper along with a short message (per the advice of Spidey Senses) the message said "next time WE should meet here." I gave the waitress instructions; "If he is wearing a ring or with the woman sitting beside him do not give him the note" and off see went on my mini mission. She gave him the note and said I was the woman sitting in the gray and he sent word back with her.. He told her to tell me "That sounds like a plan."
I continued talking to the girls and laughing and I noticed out of the corner of my eye him approaching my table. I made sure that before I locked eyes with him I gave a very feminine laugh, showing all of my teeth and my one dimple :) He comes to my side and engages me in a conversation, telling me his name and he appreciated my note. The entire time I have strong eye contact with him, I am listening to what he is saying and I am leaning into him and even touching his arm with my hand in a playful way. I gave off the impression that I was not only interested, I was warm and a good listener. We talk for about 10 minutes and he noticed the girls putting on their coats and decides to break the conversation. He tells me "I'm sure we will talk later." and he extends his hand for a handshake and I lean in and give him a hug. About 30 mins later I receive a text message that said "Your hugs are amazing..OMG!"
That night he gives me a call and we talk for 3 1/2 hours! The conversation flowed through politics, relationships, work, goals and friendships. He was an attractive man, wore glasses that were BCBG, very clean cut facial hair, nicely dressed at the sports bar, bald head. I asked him how old he was and he told me 42..which I was surprised being that I had pegged him at 35 or 36. He stated that he worked out at least 4 times a week, vacations alot, lives a healthy lifestyle and he does not smoke. Please note this difference in age is OUTSIDE of my comfort zone.
He explains to me that most of his friends are married and their wives keep them on a short chain. I ask him to explain. Apparently the men were dishonest in their relationships, in turn the women don't allow them to go out hence why he was at the sports bar alone. He says that the women are insecure in their relationships and this insecurity pushes the husbands towards dishonesty again because there is no breathing in the relationship. I must admit this was an interesting concept.
I asked him why he was single and he goes on to explain that women that he has dated in the past work very hard to get his attention and affection and when they feel they sealed the deal does not do the things they should in order to keep their man happy. So they no longer do the things that they USE to do to get them and apparently this is important in order to keep them. He is also waiting for Love.
Before the conversation ended for the night he asked me if I was interested in getting together tomorrow for lunch. Typically I would say no, in the past I never made myself too available for a guy. Since I am traveling outside my comfort zone I agreed to meet for lunch. So he told me he would text me before noon to let me know where. The next day as promised he texted me before noon to make sure I was still interested in going to eat, and what time I would be available. We agreed to meet around 2ish. I was of course late and I parked and noticed that I parked next to him. He was driving a shiny black Mercedes with sunglasses on and looked pretty cool. So he came around the driver side of my car and opened my door and we walked in together. I noticed that he was much more figgity than the day before. During lunch he revisited some of the conversations from last night and elaborated on it, and I also found out he had a child that lived in another state (another comfort zone test) I kept cool and listened to some stories about his family. I think speaking in detail before going out was helpful because we had alot to talk about. I also noticed during the date that his eye contact wasn't as strong as the day before. Alot of his picky tendencies began to show (he was a self proclaimed neat freak.) As we were leaving he opened the doors and walked me to my car and I gave him a hug and we talked a little bit in very close physical proximity. He gave me a kiss (no tongue) and he smiled and kept talking while rubbing my hand. He was very attentive the entire time. He asked me what I was doing later, and offered for me to come over before going back home to relax. I declined, stating that I had to get back home to prepare for the next day. I think it is too early for "home visits"...This one will likely have a repeat date..(which does not count towards the other 29 dates) so stay tuned for more Barbie and Mr. Barbie's Dream Car adventures.