Just a little update: So I have been feelings a little down lately, while I am going out on dates none of them excite me in the least bit. Whether any of them ever calls again I could really care less. I know sometimes things start out slowly but I NEED a little spark or something to make me smile when I think of you. I have been doing a lot of reading lately just to help get my mind right for when he comes along. I’ve also been working on improving my total package, inside and out. One book talks about how a woman needs to be feminine and I really think my generation has lost touch with that idea. When I read the quote below it really spoke to me and it is something I think I need to read everyday before I walk about the door. I may have to print it and tape it to my bedroom mirror or something. LOL
I don't understand how a woman can leave the house without fixing herself up a little - if only out of politeness. And then, you never know, maybe that's the day she has a date with destiny. And it's best to be as pretty as possible for destiny.-- Coco Chanel
Tonight I am going out with two of my girls and I know we are going to have a blast. I am going on my first official “Cutie Run” of the season. The weather is nice, I got some new make-up, and I am ready to get it in. We always have a good time when we get together and we haven’t seen each other in a while so I am excited. Alright ladies wish me luck and keep your fingers crossed for me.
I met Mr. Say What at a local area lounge. Our initial conversation was brief but he was cute so I figured why not when he asked me for my phone number. Let’s just say that this dude has not mastered the fine art of conversation, and it is indeed an art. We played phone tag for a few weeks before we finally got together Sunday afternoon for lunch. He was late, which a huge no-no in my book as I am always on time. When he walked in my first thought was “okay nice looking” and then he sat down and the first question out his mouth was “so you really looking for somebody?” At which point I was like ‘Say What’ shouldn’t we at least get to dessert before you ask those types of questions. Needless to say this dude had absolutely no conversation what so ever. I thought to myself there is no way I could spend large amounts of time with you I need someone who can stroke me mental as well as physically. We ended up making small talk over the rest of the meal. When we parted ways we hugged and mentioned speaking later but I seriously doubt that will happen. His conversational skills were just not up to par for me. Something about him was just a little off. I can’t put my finger on exactly what it is but something just ain’t right with Mr. Say What, he was little to fidgety wasn’t making direct eye contact and I think he was having trouble doing basic math…so once again it’s on to the next one. I need some prayer cause I hope I find him soon.
I stubbled upon yet another article encouraging black women to starting looking outside their race in an effort to find love and get married. Just another food for thought moment that's worth taking a look at.
Sometimes I feel like the Prince from Cinderella. I have my glass slipper, I’ve let several people try it on and no one seems to fit it. I know the person who it’s made for is out there, my mate has already been picked for me by the Lord. But I am growing tired of letting folks try my precious slipper on. Other times I feel like Goldilocks eating the porridge. One is to hot and the other too cold I just want to find the one that is just right. I go out with one guy but it seems the chemistry just isn’t there and then I go out with someone else and he is just ready to go right now but I know deep down I don’t feel the same way.
I know I am not even at the halfway mark on this journey, but there are times when I look at the couples around me and I just want that same level of comfort you have from spending quality time with that special someone. But alas, I must push through this, the journey will continue. I am going out a few times this weekend so hopefully I will meet someone interesting who I have a spark with. That’s what I am missing right now a spark or some kind of fire to get things going. On the other hand I have to keep in mind that sometimes a fire can leave you burned. Just food for thought.
I went out with Mr. Hook Up again this weekend. The snow storms made it hard for us to get together after our first date. First we had dinner at his place, he made pasta and I made dessert. We listened to music and made conversation while we ate. He is a big music lover and I thought this would be a great chance to introduce him to a few artists that I really like that I knew he hadn’t heard of. It was a great connection point for the two of us. Overall it was real chill the food was good and then we were off to see Chrisette Michelle. So all in all this should have been a great date, emphasis on SHOULD. While we were at the venue waiting for her to hit the state there were a lot of long breaks in conversation. This was a bit awkward and I had to keep the conversation rolling. I know I need a man that can pick up the conversation sometimes and carry it along but I don’t think that is his thing. On the ride home the conversation did pick up a bit as the topic was dating and our past mistakes. After the concert we went back to his place so I could pick my car and I just knew that he was getting my kiss or something. And you know what I got nada not even a hug. I was really confused, like really no hug all night long and no kiss. I questioned if we had chemistry but I was trying to wait until he kissed me before I passed judgment. At this point I doubt that we do and I don’t see the two of us hanging out together again. I refuse to be the aggressor, I believe a man should be a man and if he is so scared of rejection that he can’t make the first move then he isn’t the guy for me. Oh well my quest for a kiss continues,I wonder how many dates I will have to go through before I get my first kiss? Hmmm. So as Jigga would say I guess it’s on to the next one.
Facebook is truly something else. Facebook is the social networking tool that allows you to reconnect with long lost relatives, high school friends, coworkers, and college buddies. Well, facebook hooks up dates as well because that is how my number 2 reconnected with me. We knew each other from high school, we weren’t really close, or didn’t even talk much as I recall. I knew him from knowing his friend and it was nothing more than that. He had been on my friend list for a long time. I don’t even remember adding him, just remembered his face from high school and accepted the request maybe a year or so ago. Over the past year I had been adding my professional images to the site in its own little album. I knew the album drove a lot of traffic because as I traveled to see friends or go to events such as weddings people would come up to me and comment on how they loved my pictures..even if they never made a formal comment on a specific picture. Well one morning at work I was having a HORRIBLE start to my day and I received a message from number 2 that was very sweet and sincere. I replied very simply telling him I appreciated him stopping by my page and most importantly showing me a little love. I got a little curious about him and checked out his page. I saw that he was in a long term relationship. Like Jill Scott said she was “cute but not as fine as me though.” LOL About a week later he requested my BBM pin and I gave it to him and we started messaging each other. The conversations were very generic at first then more in detail later on. About 3 weeks ago he BBM’d me stating he just broke up with his girl. I told him I was sorry to hear that and let me know if he ever needed someone to talk to. He went away on travel for work and began texting me more so I asked him to call me one night. I was curious as to who he had become since high school. That night we chatted on the phone for a long time. He works in finance, no children, in his 20s, and is what I call a “Chubby Chaser” meaning he only dates plus size women. Our conversations over the two weeks were very smooth, we chatted about everything from our likes and dislikes, family to relationships and everyday situations. I was extremely comfortable talking to him, and I often lost track of time. While he was away on travel for work we talked every night and often throughout the day.
He returned home two days before Valentine’s Day, he wanted to meet up and go out the night before Valentine’s Day and I agreed. I told him I would meet him close to his house and switch cars to go wherever. I got into his neighborhood and called to let him know where I was parked in less than 5 minutes he was calling me back asking where I was parked and which car was mine. I got out of my car and into his and gave him a big hug. He was smiling ear to ear. As I hugged him I noticed there was a red bag with a bow on it in the back seat but I didn’t say anything. We then went to the movies, during the car ride there wasn’t much silence, the air was filled with laughing and conversation. He was a complete gentleman, asking me if I was comfortable, opening doors, and he paid for everything. After the movies we went to a restaurant to eat. He suggested different drink options and even asked for some controllers so we can participate in the electronic trivia game. We played 3 rounds of trivia and I found out that we were both competitive. (I won two of the three rounds of trivia) He paid for dinner and afterward we went to a lounge to enjoy some music and more drinks. We laughed and danced and overall had a great time. As he was driving me back to my car I felt extremely calm and still the conversation flowed perfectly. As I was leaving him he gave me the red bag and in it were three valentine’s gifts. My little heart melted because I am a sucker for anything thoughtful. Overall I was impressed with him. I have to admit I am still a little weary of him as he had cheated on his ex-girlfriend (who until this day is still is unaware of him cheating) I asked him about it, phrasing the question as “Would you ever cheat on me?” his answer was “No, you’d never give me a reason to.” Umm hmmm yea right.. lol.. Stay tuned for more from him, I am sure he’ll stick around for a while.
Disclaimer * I am not saying we should settle for Mr. Good Enough* I just thought the video clip was interesting and something to take a look. I like to get all the perspective I can during this journey so check it and see what you think.
